I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize