i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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