I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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