i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
