ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
