I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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