Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize