i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
