he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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