This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
