Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He passed out mid-signature
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
