He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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