Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
