i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
