I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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