I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
