Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
