I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She tied me up with her honor cords...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
