This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize