Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm too high and old for this...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
