how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
