Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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