party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
