her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
