Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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