What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
