what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize