i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
