Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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