I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
