that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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