I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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