so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
