Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
