Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
