omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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