He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
