Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
