What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You dont lie about slip and slides
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
