do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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