I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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