I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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