Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
