textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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