I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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