I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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