also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
