im about as happy as oj after his trial
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize