i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
