I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
