I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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