i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
