fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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