Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
