He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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