tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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