.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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