apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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