Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
