Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
