Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
