Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
