I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
