First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
