i just google imaged poop.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
