i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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