if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
